HA

forgot about this. HURRRRR.

plus I'm 17 now. THE HEADER LIES

Ack Sorry!

Either I forget, or I don't feel like writing in here. Haha.

Okay. So lets start with last wednesday.

Went to my aunts and hung out with thomas' friends. we got groovy ass Revenge of the Awesome t shirts and candles with Thomas on them. I miss that kid. I sometimes try to imagine him in the room. Maybe he's actually there. Iunno. But I miss him. We all do.

Then Friday came and it was time fior the concert. i didnt get to do lights but I got to sell the merchandise for them. All the shirts we had sold before the show even started. the entire afternoon was really fun and whatnot. hanging out with those guys, watching Alyra run about, hell even reminiscing with Sammy. XD the show was great. Even though we werent supposed to have cameras, I recorded the entire show. >:D They can suck my arse. So now I've still gotta work on those DVD's for them and finish that picture for Benny. Augh. You know I get bored, and then I dont do this things. WHY. -bashes head on desk-

Molly came over Saturday night. We did our usual hanging out thang. That was fun as always.

Got shit tons of snow the past few days. god that makes me so happy. And like its still out there. AHsnt melted yet. ~w~ Snow makes me so happy. hell the JCPS kids even had a snow day. So i got to talk to them and wahtnot a lot more than usual.

My pan flute came in the mail eysterday. god I love it so much. i'm constantly tooting away on it. XD

i've been drawing a lot mroe, and I'm even beginning to develop a bit of a self esteem. :O


Maybe the coming days will offer more good things

:B

Spilled Beads and World of Warcraft

Oh WoW. I have once again started over on a new server sdo I could play with a friend. but lucky for me Jeffrey started over as well, so we jsut kind of play together level togheter...wear the same blthes and bluh. I'm a blood elf warlock this time around. i've had a warlock once, but I got bored with it and was tired of listening to the imp. But now I have a voidwalker X33333. And I SHALL HAVE A SUCCUBUS! One dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Really. its my new goal. iw ant a whore with wings and a whip following me around. Come on. Its made of win.

So yeah I've been playing a lot of that lately. I'm the coolest kid ever huh? What can I say>? I have WoW spurts.

I spilled beads all over my room. Ugh. Its such a mess.

I've not done a lot of schoolwork lately. Ugh. thats NOT made of win. i need to do it. I have periods in the middle of my 3 months where I just dont do shit. oh well. That period is coming to a close. I'm getting on it I promise.

Getting drivers manual soon, so i dont have to read it online. >.<>:C

Apparently there is some one sided drama between two close friends.And what I mean is that liek...only one perosn is upset and the other is left to wtf. THe whole thing is ultra mega gay and it needs to end because....it does. Yeah.

Oh! Article!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080204/wl_uk_afp/britainpeoplehistoryoffbeat_080204001239

If the British school system pwns ours, then we are effing screwed.

I've lost all hope for humanity.

If you looked at my history on the itnernet, it looks liek I'm running away to the circus. I've got almost all the caracters in place. And then plot time shall ensue. You'll see what I'm talkin about here in a bit.

I've been so nostalgic for the good ol days recently. When it was like just me and Jessica and Sam and stuff man. And the BTR days, and just... yeah. I really miss them.

Which is more motivation to get my license. Then we can go on more adventures!

Uhm lets see. Oh yeah. Revenge Of The Awesome is having a concert this Friday. They've asked me to do lights. That made me feel pretty special. I can't wait. They are gonna pwn. Tomorrow is a get together type thing at Jackies to just...i dunno. hang out and be groovy I guess. Iunno.


I guess thats about all I have to report on.

Peace and Love! Love and Peace!
-Ally J

So Much for daily updates

what can I say, my life isnt nearly as interesting as I thought it was. Its the same thing every day pretty much. Stare at the screen, contemplate schoolwork, talk to Molly and Tina on AIM and hop about wikipedia, youtube and furaffinity. What the fuck life.





Foudn out that one of my enighbors (who lives across the street and two houses down) is a -drumroll- CONVICTED SEX OFFENDER!!! WOOOHOOOO! As if it wasn't fuckign hard enough for me to try to convince my parents to lemme walk down to the fuckin TARC stop. Urgh. I hate that bastard now. Not even that he sodomized a six year old. I'm mean and dont care. I jsut hate his sick arse for that. Fucker.





SO yeah I guess there goes my chances of getting out during the day until the oh so holy and probably never approaching day comes when I have my license. I hate...things. XD





Oh yeah which brings me to my next bit. Sunday was a horrible day full of revalations. Not so nice ones.





Phillip is a douche, and we all know it. And so on Sunday we got into one of our arguments. Fun fun. In which he went on to me for ever and ever about how he thinks I am wasting my life away on the internet. I AGREE SO HARD THOUGH. I dont even know how it was an arguement. So I went back into my room to meditate. Cos thats just what I do when I get upset these days. I meditate. Its calming enough. Well this time my attempts at meditating lasted only a few minutes before I just burst into tears. And as I was crying I realized this. That I hate myself. And i dont mean that in a BAWWWWWW I HATE MYSELF way. I just.. hate myself. I'm still a happy person and I lvoe life. just not myself. If that makes any sense. And I've always hated myself. As far back as I can remember. Its one of those thing sthat I knew but didnt realize ya dig? So comcing to that conclusion really helped. I knew why I cried when Phil yelled at me. Because its like reminding me that I hate myself over and over and over. Like he might as well be shouting that at me. I dunno. I cried so hard sunday night I passed out. I remember passing out kinda. I was laying down with my face in a pillow, and i remember thinking that I need to not fall asleep, and i had dreams where I was laying down in a resturaunt and no matter how hard i tried I couldnt get up cos I was just to tired. It was weird.





Ah well the way I see it the only way to go now, is up. So I've been working on building a self esteem.So I went out and bought some of my favorite things. Scarves, socks and a new hat :3. I must say thats helped. I've began eating mainly veggies and ham sandwiches. I can dig that. I drink mirk water and koor aid.





Phil asked me during a serious conversation monday what I'm doing to change my situation and not just sit my fat ass on the internet all day. I told him my wishes to go out more and all that. But thats how I learned about OUR LOVELY NEIGHBOR THE SEX OFFENDER >:O





I've been waking up and doing my chores earlier. And I dunno i listen to music and chill and stuff. But otherwise i cant think of shit to0 do. Other than work on my circus. Yeap. I'm working on a webcomic and its ionvovled a lot of study for a circus. I am loving every minute of it too. Cos I feel like I have thigns to do now. It doenst get my ass off the itnernet but hey at least i'm learning something.





My god I need more thigns to do,. I am trying to learn how to knit. I really want to make my own head scarves. that would be really groovy.





For now I'm just sitting here clicking away, wondering why the hell Molly keeps going idle and coming back, and why she has not responded to the IM i sent her featuring the most aweosme creature in existence. Well One of them.

Its an Axolotl . Its a german newt. OH MAH GOD i love it so much. LIke that is what the face of god looks like. Yeap.

I mean how could you not respond to an IM with THAT in it. FOR REAL.

mayyyyyybeh she's tired of talking to me. hahaha. i cant balme her. i'm tired of talkign to me too.

I really think thats all I have to say.

WHAT!? WHO HAS NO LIFE!? ALLY J HAS NO LIFE!

Fin.

I DIDNT FORGET

SAorry for the lack of update. A few nights my net went dead before i could post, and then I was over at Molly's last night.

HOORAY FER SOCIAL ACTIVITY!!!

I am once again having second thoughts about my latest screenplay. Its really losery. Well like. I like it. Hell I love it. But I am sucha loser XDD. I've told two people cos they are the only two people that i had in mind for characters and shizzy.

I feel like a failure. Like iunno. I'm friends with a few other film makers. They all have their shit together. I do not. I really would like to think I did. And the thing is, I dunno how to get my shit together. Its kind of like this. If you asked me if I knew anything about basketball, and I knew the basic jist of the game, so I reply with a yes. And then it feels like everyone expects me to be Micheal Jordan, when really I am standing in the middle of the court wondering what the fuck I need to do.

Disclaimer: I know all of nothing about basketball, cept the ball in the hoop part. I was just using that as an example. C'mon. My fat ass playin basketball? HA!

All of these feelings of failure usually pop up when i'm talkin to other film makers, or seeing what they are doing and blah. I havent been able to make something in a long while. I'm itching to make something. Seriously. Its like this narcotic. But to tell you the truth, I'm kind of scared to make something. Cos everyone knows me as 'Ally J, the film maker' cos its really what I wanna do. But like, i'm afriad if I go and make something, it will suck, and then everyone will be like :OKAY YOU SUCK GTFO: But how am I supposed to get better without practice ya dig? I dunno. I have the resources to do things.

But now that I have the ball, what do I do with it in order to get it in the hoop?

Ah well. enough of that. Other news, had the most fantastic time at Molly's last night. Lion King refrences, wii, and Bullets Over Broadway with a dash of jollyflowers thrown in to make things more interesting.

Its after nights like that, that I really love life.

Maybe I can get all this shit together and make life even more fantastic?

:O:O:O

Peace and Love,
Ally J

Lame

Today was my lame excuse for a day of figuring things out. Which I did. I just took a bit of a mental break.

Of cours emy stepdads douchebaggery interfered.

Ugh I can not STAND him sometimes. Most times.

he's mental.

oh well
i'm cleaning

and decorating

and practicing drawing skillz

BLUH FAIL I KNOW

On This Day In 1797

the very first top hat was worn!

Now THATS what I call a holiday.

So today i decided that I was gonna fix my sleeping schedule. I'm taking baby steps in this whole getting things together process. Altering my sleep schedule to where I'm not waking up at sunset would be a good start. So I went to bed at 4:30 and woke up at noon. Come 3 I'll be tire.d This is a bummer though. I do enjoy talking on my night time chatroom. I would try to alter it to where I wake up at like 4:30 talk to my buds, but then I owuld be going to sleep when my mom got home, and I wouldn't really be a fan of that. I'll still be up late at night. Its the only tyime that I really ghet school work done. I'm motivated at night.

Since I've been so damn tired all day I've not done much else. I took a shower, and make myself feel socially acceptable. Now all i need is the social. XD

I've been coloring in this trippy ass coloring book all day. Which seems liek nothing, but I'm in my room a lot readers (all none of you) and I like to make it look cool. So I like hanging a lot of things on my wall. this contributes to that. Like I said, baby steps.


I've got the feeling that molly doesnt think this blogspot isnt gonna work XD. It might not. but I think it will. Hell I'm already getting sick of typing all the nothing I've done today.

I ran into some more bumps into my screenplay.l But with all the ways I'm gonna work aruond it, well i think that will definitely be a different sort of story. i just hope when i make it and people see it they see the story rather than they see how I was working around set and costume errors. Hopefully that will pan out for me nicely. this is the first screenplay that I've been so into in a long while, I'm not just gonna give it up in a hearbeat.

Me and mum haven't really been hanging out as much these days. She's always busy. i love me mum. Oh well. These thing happen in phases I suppose.

I think tonight after some geometry I'm gonna force myself to read more of the drivers manual.

Thats about all I got.

Pandora.com is the shit.